Christians Never Have Conflicts . . . Right?

Mike Hosey, Elder

Being in a group of any kind means conflict at some point or another. Even the best and nicest families have conflicts.

I know this is going to be hard to believe, but followers of Christ sometimes have conflicts, too. Crazy. I know.

If you've never seen this fact in action it's because you haven't stuck around with one group long enough . . . . or you're living in some remote cabin writing manifestos.

Luckily, Jesus has given us a way to handle conflict with our brothers and sisters. At Fellowship we try to stick to His formula pretty tightly.  You can find it in Matthew 18:15-17. Here's the Summary:

1) When you have a problem with someone, go to that person privately first. You don't chastise them on Facebook, or call them out in Sunday School class, or point out their sin publicly, or use their friend as an intermediary. After all, we are to treat others as we would want them to treat us (Matthew 7:12). Besides, there may be reasons for their behavior that you don't know or understand fully. Unless it's not possible, "going to them privately" implies a face-to-face meeting.

2) If that person doesn't reconcile with you, bring others who can confirm the offense.  This fulfills the spirit of Deuteronomy 19:15. These brothers or sisters can help establish the fact of the offense. They also provide you with confirmation that you tried your best to reconcile the problem personally.

3) If after these actions, the conflict is not resolved, then you take it to church leadership. If you're unable to convince your brother or sister, and your witnesses prove ineffective as well, then your elders can decide whether or not to administer some sort of discipline. And if you've done your part, they'll have enough good information to make a wise decision.

4) If your friend doesn't listen to church leadership then you sever relationships with him or her.  The church may or may not choose to continue in a relationship, but you are to lovingly cut your relationship with that person. After all, conflict cannot continue if one of you isn't participating!