The Parenting Job

Mike Hosey, Elder

I’ve had a few jobs in my life.  I’ve been a fast food worker (twice). I’ve managed a grocery store deli crew (twice). I was once a cashier’s booth manager in a small grocery store. I’ve been a student (multiple times). I’ve been a psychology intern.  I’ve been a soldier. I’ve been an opinions columnist and a writer.  I’ve been a community mental health case manager (twice). I’ve managed and coordinated the clinical care of a psychiatric residential treatment facility. I’ve been a mental health emergency screener. These days, I supervise a mental health rehab day treatment program.  Finally, I’ve served as a Sunday school teacher, a deacon, and now as an elder.  

In some of those jobs, I performed better than others. In fact, some I excelled at. One, I failed at. They all had their difficulties. But the hardest job that I have ever held has been that of father.

When I look back on my history in this job, I can see many, many mistakes.  There have been mistakes where I made decisions in anger and mistakes where I made decisions out of a desire to please.  There were times when I was far too strict, and other times when I was embarrassingly lenient. I’ve avoided making decisions on what I knew.  And in other times I made decisions based on what I thought I knew.

I have not always been a good father.  My failures as a father, in every significant event, have been because of my own human selfishness.  But there is one thing I can say. I can say with all honesty and confidence that I never gave up.   

I continue to parent, even through tough times, and even through moments of failure and selfishness.

I plod forward with commitment and love for my children.  And each time I fail, I get back up with the notion that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).  I get back up with the firm belief that God forgives, that He makes broken things new, and that He has given me a mission to love and guide my children. In fact, they are my greatest mission.

I am not always up to the task.  But He is.

A Few Ways to Positively Banish Negativity From Your Life

Mike Hosey, Elder

If you’ve ever been around a negative person, you know how taxing they can be.  They will drain the life blood right out of your veins, and then complain about how pale you look. You’ve met these people. They whine about everything, and there is always a grievance with someone or something. These are not critical thinkers with a constructive heart. They’re just critical. Occasionally, they will turn the critique on themselves, but this is rare, and it’s usually not aimed at the right places, and so doesn’t produce the right results. But before you start praising me for spotlighting them, know there’s a bit of them in all of us.  We all can forget our Queen’s English and start jabbering in Whinese, so I thought I’d give you some tips on how to get the positive back in your life.  And don’t complain, it will take work regardless of how big or small a whiner you happen to be.

Take a look at your heart: Negativity is a matter of the heart. Luke 6:45 tells us so.  It also tells us that positivity is a matter of the heart. It is, after all, out of the heart that the mouth speaks. This means we must daily submit our hearts to both the spotlight and cleansing powers of God. For example, a really good question to ask yourself the next time you feel an urge to complain about someone else is, “Does God show patience with me when I’m doing something similar?”  Or, “How would I want others to treat me in their hearts and minds when they are critiquing my behavior?” Or, “Do my complaints make the situation better or worse, either in my mind or in reality?”

Taking control of your thoughts will affect your heart:  Philippians 4:8-9 tells us that if we think right thoughts, and behave in right ways that the God of peace will be with us.  And everyone knows that being around the God of peace changes hearts! Every good Christian demolishes ungodly arguments and pretensions by keeping his or her thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Negativity is contagious (and so is positivity): Negativity spreads between people like a disease. (1 Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 22:24-25). But the reverse of this is also true (Proverbs 12:20). So show love to negative people, but don’t make them regular company.

Aiming at Heaven Beats YOLO

Mike Hosey, Elder

“Aim at Heaven and you will get earth ‘thrown in’: aim at earth and you will get neither,” wrote C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity. He scribbled this statement after praising past Christians who had made great achievements precisely because they were looking toward a future home and a future crown – he was speaking of Christians like the Apostles who boldly advanced God’s kingdom, and Christians like the English evangelicals who abolished the slave trade. He was also chastising with this statement his contemporary Christians who seemed only to seek earthly achievements, and who seemed to have largely forgotten their future country.

There’s a lot of truth in Lewis’ reasoning. Earth is temporary. Your life here on it is also temporary.  YOLO is a trivial way to live your life if it is only to please yourself with earthly pleasures! Even if you get them, they are nothing more than a wisp and a vapor. They’re gone the moment you experience their fleeting delight.  And there’s nothing more that is good when that life you only live once is finally gone.

But if you seek the kingdom of God first, you’ll get all of those earthly things you need (Matthew 6:31-33), and possibly some of the things that you desire.  But on top of all of that, you get an eternal life in a future home, in a perfect place called Heaven.

But this is no mere abstraction.  Too many people seeking after worldly security, worldly pleasure, or worldly materials, will end up with broken marriages, depression, defeat, pain, anxiety, betrayal, spiritual poverty, and unmet needs.  This is because they’re not seeking the thing they’re made for. Consider this, a man who seeks his own needs over God’s will is probably also going to seek his own needs over his wife’s.  That’s not good soil in which to grow a good marriage. If his wife isn’t seeking God and His kingdom first either, then divorce seems inevitable.

But Jesus tells us that if we seek we’ll find (Luke 11:9). So let’s seek the Kingdom of Heaven and get the best of both worlds.

Some Random Facts About Heaven

Mike Hosey, Elder

In last week’s blog we learned that Heaven is a real place where God dwells in all of his fullness.  Nelson Plasencia taught us in his sermon that some people will find themselves there after they die, and some people won’t. We have learned that the earth is separated from Heaven in profound ways that we don’t understand.  And because of this Damon Baudoin visited a developing country last week so that people can know Jesus and find their way there.

So Heaven, indeed, is a fascinating place.  Here are some other things you might not know about it:

1) There Are Three Realms Called Heaven: The English bible uses the word heaven to describe three realms.  Notice in Genesis 1:1 it uses the plural form of heaven. The ancient Hebrews saw the First Heaven as the very natural realm of the sky, the clouds, and the atmosphere of the earth (Judges 5:4). This understanding also was shared by the early Christians (Acts 14:17). The Second Heaven referred to the natural realm of outer space, where the stars hang and shine, and the planets move in their orbits (Isaiah 13:10, Matthew 24:29). And the Third Heaven, or the highest Heaven, was the supernatural dwelling place of God (1 Kings 8:27, 1 Kings 8:30, and Matthew 5:16).

2) Heaven Might Be Like A Beautiful Garden:  In 2 Corinthians 12:2-4, Paul recounts being supernaturally transported to the third Heaven. He describes it as paradise.  The Greek word in verse 4 which translates to the English word “paradise” means a park that is splendid, beautiful, and wonderful.  Perhaps Heaven will in some ways look a lot like the Garden of Eden.

3) There Will Be a Tree of Life:  Just like in the Garden of Eden, there will be a Tree of Life (Genesis 2:9 and Revelation 22:2).

But the greatest fact of all is that God will be with us directly (Revelation 21:3), and we will enjoy true eternal pleasures untainted by sin (Psalms 16:11)!

Heaven? What is that?

Mike Hosey, Elder

Oh this ice cream is heaven! Oh what a heavenly voice! I think I’m in heaven! That person was heaven sent! I am in seventh heaven! This situation stinks to high heaven!

Just listening to our language is enough for one to realize that the concept of Heaven is central to our culture in a profound way. But what exactly is Heaven.  Some people liken it to a state of mind. Such a way of conceptualizing it, however, doesn’t do the biblical data justice at all. Others more accurately describe it as the place where God dwells in all His glory. The biblical fact that it is an actual place in space and time (1 Kings 8:49, Mark 16:19, Hebrews 9:4) isn’t an alien concept to Christians. After all, most of us tend to think of it as a place where you go when you die.

Most of us also tend to think of it as a very distant place. But is this an accurate way to think of it? Consider the martyrdom of Stephen (Acts 7:55-56). Before he died he gazed into Heaven and saw the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.  It wasn’t distant. It was only separated from him until his death, and until his eyes were opened.

Ponder Stephen’s experience for a moment and think about the following speculation in light of some of the things we know:  We know that God lives in Heaven (Matthew 6:9), and we also know that He is omnipresent, that is to say, everywhere around us (Psalms 139:7-10, Proverbs 15:3). We also know that we as humans are separated from God because of our sin (Isaiah 59:1-2), and that God is far from the wicked, but close enough to hear the righteous (Proverbs 15:29), and that unless we are born again we can’t see Heaven (John 3:3). Perhaps . . . maybe . . .  possibly, Heaven is all around us and we are simply separated from it in spiritual ways that our carnal minds don’t have the capacity to understand.  

Now consider the New Heavens and the New Earth in Revelations 21:1-27. When all is said and done, and man is reconciled with God, there is no separation between Heaven and Earth, and God dwells with his people (Revelation 21:3) and His people dwell with Him!